Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Long Distance is my New Normal.

Reece is gone a lot.

      Like a lot, a lot.

He was gone almost half the summer, half of August, and ten days out of September. Until yesterday. He's now far away for a whole two months. He won't be coming back to our apartment, he won't be coming home at the end of the day, he won't be here to celebrate a good grade. 
     
      And that's ok.

I knew this was going to be the dynamic of our relationship from the beginning. It wasn't something out of the blue, it wasn't something he hid from me to spare my feelings, it wasn't just a random offer from his work. His job is to travel a lot. He'll be gone a good chunk of the year. We get Christmas together and New Years; but no Halloween, no Valentine's Day, and maybe not even my Graduation in the Spring. 

      And that's still ok.

We're going to get bummed out about it. We're going to get sad and lonely. We're going to take our frustrations out on the other because we know that the other can handle it. This was something that plagued him in the beginning of our dating. Was I sure I would want to go into this knowing he'd be gone a lot? Was I sure that I could handle it? 

      And honestly, I didn't know at the time.

Part of me felt that this really was just a summer fling; that when he was leaving for his longest trip yet, he'd want to opt out. Why put himself through more stress of a hard job and add on a girlfriend? A girlfriend who needs communication often, who gets excited about a phone call even if was half-asleep, who will be honest about how she's feeling even if it hurts him. Apparently, he was more worried about me wanting out by the time he left; that I wouldn't find him worth the struggle of a long distance relationship. We had both been in them before and it (obviously) didn't work out. 

     I'm a firm believer in long distance relationship if the right people are in them.

You absolutely have to trust that person. You have to know how much they care for you. Even on the days where you barely hear from them, when you don't know where they are or who they're with, when you just don't know what's going on in their daily routine: there has to be trust. I know how much he loves me, I knew before he confessed it. 

     I know him. I trust him. And that is what will keep us going in this hard time. 

     xoxo